Times have changed

Visit a club he frequents and flirt with him

Ladies! Times have changed.  You can now dance with that cute guy without having to wait in the sidelines while every other girl dances with him. It’s no longer a taboo to ask him out or tell him you are interested.We are encouraged as ladies to be proactive and since it’s 2014, we actually are!

There is this myth that chasing a man shows you are desperate, but it’s only true if you do it the wrong way. So, yes, show him you like him! Below are some ways of how to chase a man and not scare him away:-

1. Ask him out

A man will notice you if you are bold enough to ask him out. It ain’t desperation but rather it shows confidence. Women know what and who they want. Just make sure the the outing is a “casual affair”. That way, if he doesn’t seem interested when you are out on a “date,” it won’t feel like a real date and so less embarrassment for you. Besides, not many women go this route so you will stand out from the crowd.

2. Get his number

If you see that guy you like, get his number and don’t be shy. Many times a man won’t think a woman is interested. If you ask for his digits, he doesn’t have to guess. But remember not to give him your number. Be in control of the situation,so take his.

3. Contact him

Having his number means the ball is in your court, but, don’t call him right away. Give it 2 to 3 days then send him a text or call him at a decent hour(evening time on a weekday is the best). If he responds, good, if he doesn’t give it a few more days. If he still doesn’t contact you, you have a choice to try and contact him again or let it go. A second call or text and no answer means he is not into you and that is when you now delete his number.

4. Hang around him

If you are the shy type of woman and you can’t ask him out or get his number, hang around him. Let him see you in his environment by going to a club he frequents. This way you can chat, flirt, and give him clear signs you are interested without scaring him half to death. Keep it cool, don’t show up every week because he may think you are stalking him. If he doesn’t ask you out after hanging out a handful of times, it is time to be bolder.

5. Just tell him

Tell him how you feel and wait for his response. It’s as easy as that. Don’t send him a text declaring your feelings of like rather you need to express it face-to-face so as to see his reactions. If he says he is into you, move forward but if he is vague, it’s not the best sign. Remember, just because a man doesn’t say no, it doesn’t mean yes. He may want to play around with your feelings and hurt you. Be sure to know what his reactions or responses mean. If you keep on professing your feelings repeatedly to him, it will make you the desperate girl that needs his love and yet you are not.

 

Mollie E

 

Positive effects of travel on relationships

 

Travelling together strengthens relationships. Couples who travel together are significantly more satisfied with their relationships, enjoying better sex and improved romance long after the trip ends .They have healthier, happier relationships compared to those who do not travel together

Key factors that strengthen the relationships in travel are:

The compromise

Relationships are all about compromise and in travelling it is inevitable because travel forces you to evaluate and make agreements on the most mundane and absurd parts of your daily life.It is that acceptance of your partner’s habits that can enable you to compromise and may help sustain your relationship.

Fighting

Its impossible not to fight because fighting sometimes is the only way to clear the air and become stronger. Life on the road has a way of bringing issues to the surface faster than stationery life does.

Problem solving

Crazy mishaps happen on the road, and you will have to solve those problems together. You’ll get lost in a scary part of a town; one of you will hurt themselves, etc.

Co-dependence/ carving out space.

When you spend every waking hour with one person, you develop a weird co-dependence that even the most clingiest couples at home can’t pull off.Travel forces you to negotiate that flexibility which is important both on and off the road.

Awesomeness

Having someone to share with life changing events and really funny stories away on a private escapade is just awesome. Furthermore, its all about getting to do amazing things with your lover and having someone to hold in those beautiful nights

Hellen .M.

 

 

 

 

Solitary travel can improve relationships’ quality.

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To be in company even with the best, is sometimes tiresome and dissipating. I strongly believe that the expression of love can be found in both attachment to and detachment from our partners. Sometimes our lovers may need time with themselves and may be, the greatest gift we can give them is that of complete autonomy. This will enable them to pursue activities and interests that we happen not to share hence reducing the times we may disagree over unshared interests. Though sometimes travelling alone can be an issue in many relationships especially if one partner is the flirting and ‘always’ single type. However, when you set the precedent in your relationship that it’s okay to pursue individual interests, trust is enhanced. Absence too makes the heart grow fonder. That makes travelling alone once in a while refreshing for a couple and also appreciation of your partner’s presence as only when the well runs dry the waters are missed.Travelling in solitude is also empowering. It makes you better and smarter. A successful solo vacation can inspire you to tackle even more things in life you’ve been afraid to try and you can agree with me that this empowerment can initiate a positive turn in your relationship.

Hellen .M.

Homosexuals at risk?

The current media portrayal of gay and lesbian relationships is that they are as healthy, stable and loving as heterosexual marriages — or even more so.¹ Medical associations are promoting somewhat similar messages.² Sexual relationships between members of the same sex, however, expose gays, lesbians and bisexuals to extreme risks of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s), physical injuries, mental disorders and even a shortened life span. There are five major distinctions between gay and heterosexual relationships, with specific medical consequences. They are:

• Levels of Promiscuity

Similar extremes of promiscuity have not been documented among lesbians. However, an Australian study found that 93 percent of lesbians reported having had sex with men, and lesbians were 4.5 times more likely than heterosexual women to have had more than 50 lifetime male sex partners. Any degree of sexual promiscuity carries the risk of contracting STDs.

• Physical Health

1. Male Homosexual Behavior
2. Female Homosexual Behavior

Common sexual practices among gay men lead to numerous STD’ s and physical injuries, some of which are virtually unknown in the heterosexual population. Lesbians are also at higher risk for STD’ s. In addition to diseases that may be transmitted during lesbian sex, a study at an Australian STD clinic found that lesbians were three to four times more likely than heterosexual women to have sex with men who were high-risk for HIV.

• Mental Health

It is well established that there are high rates of psychiatric illnesses, including depression, drug abuse, and suicide attempts, among gays and lesbians. This is true even in the Netherlands, where gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) relationships are far more socially acceptable than in the U.S. Depression and drug abuse are strongly associated with risky sexual practices that lead to serious medical problems.

• Life Span

The only epidemiological study to date on the life span of gay men concluded that gay and bisexual men lose up to 20 years of life expectancy.

• Monogamy

Monogamy, meaning long-term sexual fidelity, is rare in GLB relationships, particularly among gay men. One study reported that 66 percent of gay couples reported sex outside the relationship within the first year, and nearly 90 percent if the relationship lasted five years.

It is clear that there are serious medical consequences to same-sex behavior. Identification with a GLB community appears to lead to an increase in promiscuity, which in turn leads to a myriad of Sexually Transmitted Diseases and even early death. Youth should be warned of the undeniable health risks associated with a homosexual lifestyle.

Zuhura .M.

Homosexuality & the Media

The media has been glorifying homosexuality with excessive publicity, and having done so, has been successful in promoting the homosexual lifestyle.

Homosexuality has been glorified in the media (To cause to be or seem to be better than the actual condition: Merriam-Webster) in a manner that presents absolutely no negative connotation, with only positive viewpoints that would encourage an undisputable acceptance. The act of glorification involves heavy emphasis on positive aspects of a concept, while toning down or eliminating the negative traits of said concept altogether. This is exactly what has been done by the media in regard to the topic of homosexuality.

1. Homosexuals in the media are portrayed as affluent or otherwise prominent individuals in order to illicit a positive perception from the audience, when in reality, this is not the case.
http://inplainsight.Nbcnews.Com/_news/2013/05/31/18581353-the-truth-about-gays-and-money?Lite
The process of making the LGBT population seem “affluent” to the population is a technique that is tried and proven by social media. By believing someone is from a higher class background, we are more likely to admire them for who they are, more so than someone of an impoverished or otherwise average background. As an example, I provide you all with the normalized obsession with the lives of Hollywood celebrities. By glorifying homosexuals in a similar manner, they receive respect easily from a populace that actively seeks information from social media outlets.

2. Homosexuals are portrayed in an almost idealistic style regarding body form, when actuality presents evidence that “Women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic, with nearly three-quarters of lesbians overweight or obese.” (Department of Health and Human Services, US Gov)
http://projectreporter.Nih.Gov/project_info_description.Cfm?Aid=8324507&icde=15499915
We’ve all seen the countless stereotypes surrounding lesbian women-slim, sexy, and unattainable. The reality is, however, that the massive majority of lesbian women are clinically obese, and nobody feels the need to correct the glorified stereotype. This is another direct factor of proof that would suggest that our media glorifies homosexuality.

3. The health afflictions associated with the homosexual lifestyle (beyond aids) are completely ignored. There are health risks that are “SPECIFIC” to this population, which are washed out to the fullest possible extent by the media, leading us to believe that homosexuals have a singular, clear intention of “love,” and nothing more. In reality, of course, sex is a frequent but disregarded factor. As such, it presents many unique health risks involved in the required sexual acts.
http://www.Cdc.Gov/lgbthealth/about.Htm
http://gawker.Com/5811493/the-real-reason-gay-men-dont-get-fat

4. Excess. Media has shown a promotion of homosexuality that is highly disproportionate to the actual US homosexual population. Homosexual television prevalence directly promotes homosexuality.
http://thinkprogress.Org/alyssa/2012/08/30/774151/glaad-network-responsibility-index/
Straight from the horse’s mouth:
“Among the 19% who reported that their feelings toward gay and lesbian people have become more favorable in the past 5 years, 34% cited ‘seeing gay or lesbian characters on television’ as a contributing factor,” –The Harris Interactive Firm.

Glorification and Excess of homosexuality exists in the media. As a result, they have led to the promotion of the gay lifestyle.

Zuhura .M.

Ways to get your EX back

Break up is never and will never be easy but it will always be painful especially if it was not your idea. If you think you made the wrong decision, you can always try and win them back. Here are some tips on how.:-

a) Stop and think about it

Before you decide to go back to your ex, stop and think of what led to the break up. Don’t compromise hurtful deeds but rather go back when you know it was a misunderstanding that could be corrected in an amicable way. Don’t show them you are desperate rather let them know you want them and not need them.

b) Reach out

Try as much as you can to reach out to them in a manner that won’t annoy them. Show them you are there for them when they need you and you will offer them a shoulder to lean on.

c) Ask them out for coffee

Once in a while you can invite them over to have coffee with you while you chat don’t show them you are doing that to get to them but rather to talk and keep in touch. Also take watch of the words you use and try to make them smile as much as possible during the coffee date. This will get them thinking of the wonderful dates you went to together.

d) Remember special dates

Always remember the special dates you shared together e.g. birthdays or anniversaries. Share those dates with them and make them feel you still care and value what you shared together.

e) Don’t smoother

Don’t be the one to smooth at all times rather take it slow. Let nature take its cause and don’t force things to happen. No man can change destiny rather you can live it in a better way. So allow events to unfold in their own way.

f) Respect other relationships

If your ex is in another relationship you need to respect boundaries. Do not show them how bad their new partners are or how better you were but rather just be good to them and wish them the best while constantly checking up on them to know how they are doing in the new relationship. Showing you care may win them back.

 

Mollie E

 

What women want in bed

You can visit:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It9pbMOi2uA to watch the video Woman-Toni Braxton

Women are hard to please, both in and out of the bedroom and this is because women know what they want. Not every woman feels entirely comfortable expressing her sexual desires because some fear judgement, others are sensitive, while others ask in less obvious ways that often go unnoticed. There is a difference between wants and needs and simply i will share with you what we women want in bed. Women don’t ask for impossibilities, we only ask for what we want and what our men can deliver.

1. To be heard

Make no mistake because women know exactly what they want or like in bed. Be that kind of sexual partner who will eagerly respond to her guidance on how best to please her. Give her what she wants and deliver to your best. Your efforts will in the long run be rewarded.

2.  Be passionate

There’s a time and place for romance and gentle lovemaking, but what your woman really craves for is RAW PASSION. Take her, kiss her hand, and make no apologies for how desperately you want and need all of her. Don’t be shy to show her how badly you want her and be passionate to get her.

3. Verbal affirmation

About 44% of women are turned on by a simple I LOVE YOU while about 26% by YOU ARE HOT IN BED. Try as much to be verbal with her and tell sweet things as this is also a sexual pleasure for women. When you like something you are doing, give her that confirmation and she will deliver more of what you like.

4. Show your pleasure

Allow your facial expressions, body language, and verbal cues to give her insight into what gets you hot. Remember turning you on is a major turn on for your woman. It’s not a must you be the one to make the first move, if she does the foreplay and she turns you on, it will be a major turn on for her.

5. Sexual intimacy

Your woman wants to tell you her deepest, darkest, naughty desires…so the more open you are about your bedroom fantasies, the more open she will be with hers. Engage each other in your intimacies and see the wonders it will work out for you.

6. Dirty talk

Tell your woman what you want to do and do it. Engage her naughty side and tell her what you are thinking. This may stir up some sexual desires and arouse her sexual feelings easily.

7. Focus on her whole body

There are many places on a woman’s body that bring her pleasure. Focus on her whole body rather than just some parts and you might be surprised that part you ignored is where most of her pleasure is in.

 

Mollie E

 

Go get fun at gray’s oak hotel-Kitengela this holiday.

Gray’s Oak Hotel is situated  just 2.5 Kilometres from Kitengela along the Namanga road,about 26 Kilometres from Nairobi.The hotel will make your stay a comfortable and relaxing experience,within the vibrancy of the capital.It offers 37 elegantly furnished rooms,equipped wit en-suite bathrooms and Wi-fi internet access.The rooms feature flat screen tvs, tea and coffee making facilities,safety deposit boxes and study tables.

Delicious buffet-style breakfast is served in the spacious dining area,and also lovely African dishes for dinner.A comfy bar is situated on the third floor,with comprehensive alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available.There’s also a beautiful swimming pool within seating around it,ideal for a lazy afternoon.You can’t afford to miss this for the Easter holiday.

Try it out with you partner and believe me you won’t regret.

Hellen.M.

The break up travel experience

 

 

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Whether it’s a week long vacation or just a few days, travel is a major test to see how your relationship and communication skills works when you are together 24/7 and dealing with unpredictable circumstances. This is particularly true in romantic relationships, which are all about learning how to live and work with each other. Pressure builds up and you can not only reveal your compatibility as a dating couple, but ultimately how you will relate as a married couple and can also tell you what you need to know about the other person and how (or if) you’ll have fun and solve problems together. One high-stress trip can result in a relationship flame out or the discovery of true love.

If you’ve ever gone on a romantic trip with a significant person, you may agree with me that the vacations often end up much less romantic than you had anticipated because of a few small things:

Taking the vacation too early in the relationship

It is quite demanding to spend 24 hours a day for 7 or more days together, especially when sharing a common space, such as a hotel room.

A good start off is that of small weekend trips prior to planning long vacations.

Budgeting

Budgeting is eminently important on vacations. Everyone wants vacations to be all about having fun. Going shopping, hiring a car, and even dining at niche restaurants each night. But if you are constantly arguing about finances and what is or is not affordable, then the entire trip will be a waste of time. To avoid this problem, simply put a little time into planning ahead. You can try and pre-pay for the main requirements of the trip: the flight, the hotel, the rental car and the day tours.

Lovemaking

Sex makes everything complicated as we all know. On a romantic trip, it can get worse mainly because of the ideals projected about such trips by society and the media. According to these sources, when you are on a romantic trip you should be shagging on every surface at all times of the day. However, this can be rather hard to cope up with. If you spend a day having fun together, and you are exhausted when you get to the hotel room, you should both feel free to go to sleep. You have the entire trip to spend time together. Don’t rush into it and please don’t ever try to force the mood on your partner. It just won’t work and it will probably make things even worse.

Flirting and talking to fellow travellers.

This can be another big issue. Of course we all love to claim that when we are in love with someone we have eyes only for them. Unfortunately that is just not true. When travelling you are probably going to run across attractive people .Chat with them, perhaps flirt a little and at the same time introduce them to your significant other. Keep things light and the conversation easy.

Travel styles.

Travelling is all about give and give in a relationship. If the goal is to enjoy one another’s company, then you are going to have to work on compromises. Be willing to try new things. Keep an open mind about each other’s need for adventures. Also don’t be afraid to break away from each other sometimes. It is okay for you to go to the mall while he goes to the museum. A little time apart can be valuable. You will both get some fresh stories and perspectives to share with each other when you are together again.

Hellen .M.

 

THE EASTER ‘TAKE OVA’ PARTY IS HERE

The Easter ‘Take Ova’ party is here yet again and its bigger and better.

The party will be going down on Friday 18th April 2014 at club 360 in Kitengela. On the decks will be Kitengela’s finest djs Bash, Dj Dixan and Dj Jijo who will be giving you the best of Dancehall, Reggae, Local, Hip hop, Afro beat and Techno. Special Mc ‘Black Jockey’ will also grace the event. Gates open at 6pm till dawn.

Entry fee is only 300 bob.

TO MISS IS A DISS!! KABOOM!!

 Zuhura .M.